it could've been never

you just don't know what it's like when you try and try and try and try and you still don't get there.

i always thought i could catch up on all things coming and going through me, not until these past days came. it may sound so over-reacting and it may look like im over-thinking things but it's the least you could do when you're too desperate to have something done in your way. though the result has not yet arrived, just having the thought that the negative has dominated the possibility, it may cause you bottomless tears. tiring it is.

always been hoping for the best results to come but always doing the half the way. so how would it coincide when it's not done properly? therefore, regrets come into the scene. they say, it's fine 'cause it's the first time, but i just realized that it could've not happened if, if, and all the if's. it's just that i can see myself so helpless and not knowing what to do, and i could just end up with thinking about nothing and unconsciously i'm making it happen, sad to say.

a time to accept all the things i've done, and the results it brought is what i need most right now. then i'll be back on my track.