..yhs

ive really been.. haha.. kaulaw! bahala na.. ahahaha.. ana man jud na noh!?! hahahaha.. sooo random! haha.. pwede maulaw?!

anyway, never been this good! yebah baby!!! ^^,

im so much better! wee.. ahaha

usus sentio per tu-

i've been trying to kill myself all day, but i didn't manage to make it happen.

though results are yet to come, i can see it clearly, so clear that it sounds so pathetic that i'm still hoping for the other thing to happen. i can't still accept the fact. all throughout the day, i've been hearing, seeing, feeling things that i called to be SIGNOs, things that i should let myself understand inorder for me to accept that there's no such thing as accident and thus, everything happens for a reason and works out with a plan made even before this incident, even before me (rarr!).

i never would like to wait. i hate to wait. but what can i do? i have to wait. it even feels worse to wait for something you know will give you nothing but hopelessness. i just would have to believe like what i've been trying to tell to myself. but now, i always ran out of reasons for my make-believe's for my self.

i feel like a crap. i fell off. i'm sad. i'm pathetic. i'm a sore loser!

good thing that every day ends.

it could've been never

you just don't know what it's like when you try and try and try and try and you still don't get there.

i always thought i could catch up on all things coming and going through me, not until these past days came. it may sound so over-reacting and it may look like im over-thinking things but it's the least you could do when you're too desperate to have something done in your way. though the result has not yet arrived, just having the thought that the negative has dominated the possibility, it may cause you bottomless tears. tiring it is.

always been hoping for the best results to come but always doing the half the way. so how would it coincide when it's not done properly? therefore, regrets come into the scene. they say, it's fine 'cause it's the first time, but i just realized that it could've not happened if, if, and all the if's. it's just that i can see myself so helpless and not knowing what to do, and i could just end up with thinking about nothing and unconsciously i'm making it happen, sad to say.

a time to accept all the things i've done, and the results it brought is what i need most right now. then i'll be back on my track.